The hearing impaired are often left out of the conversation. This is why Lee Pitts created a new website called Hearing Voices, where people can share their stories and experiences with hearing loss.
For The Hearing Impaired By Lee Pitts •
Isn’t it strange that two animals can’t hear the same sound? A dog, for example, can hear a high-pitched whistle but not the person who blew it. And husbands and wives who have been married for more than six months are unable to understand a single word spoken by the other. And, in general, if an adult and a kid are more than 10 years apart in age, the child will be unable to comprehend a single word the adult is saying. It may be related to earwax accumulation.
That is why hand gestures serve as a worldwide language. Heavy equipment workers and sheepherders invented this international code to instruct their dogs to GET IN THE TRUCK! Ranch couples, on the other hand, may find this global body language to be just as useful.
When a husband and wife combination is trying to connect up a bumper pull horse trailer, hand signals are very useful. The guy stands at the trailer hitch with his hands spread wide apart, indicating the space between the vehicle’s bumper and the trailer, while the lady backs up the truck. The guy tells the wife to SLOW IT DOWN as she starts the engine. This is shown by lifting both arms horizontally and furiously flailing them. As the pick-rear up’s bumper collides with the trailer, forcing it to collapse off the termite-infested stack of wood it’s sitting on, the guy removes his hat and bangs it on his knee repeatedly, signaling to his wife to “come hither” to remove the trailer, which is now lying on his foot.
The STOP order is the most essential hand gesture ranch couples should memorize. When the male is holding a cold chisel, fence post, rail-splitter, or any other object for his partner to hammer with a seven-pound sledge, this comes in useful. He should grasp his swelled finger, bounce up and down enthusiastically, and spin around in a circle like a dog seeking for a spot to lie down if she misses and strikes the male thumb instead. He should then draw his palm over his neck, signaling to his wife to STOP before more nerve damage occurs. This warning always comes much too late, and the wife always manages to sneak in another lick or two. Or seven or eight, depending on the state of the couple’s marital happiness at the time.
Some instructions are only male or female. When the husband comes in after a long day at work, smelling like an old pair of sheepherder’s socks, and wants to have intimate contact, the wife should first hold her nose between her thumb and fingers while creating an extremely unpleasant facial expression. THIS IS THE SIGNAL FOR DOG BREATH TO STOP RIGHT NOW!
The signal to SHUT UP is a common ‘male only’ signal. The guy covers his ears with his hands and acts as if he isn’t hearing anything his nagging wife says. This gesture should be taught in conjunction with the PROTECT YOUR FACE defensive technique. This is done by lifting the male forearm and putting it in front of his ugly visage to fend off his wife’s nasty right hook, which will leave him laid out colder than a meat hook if not checked.
When dealing with calves that are more ferocious than a turpentined cat, hand signals are very useful. If your elusive Mexican steers have been collected after a day of hard riding, only to be dispersed to the four corners of the compass by a banker or a supplement salesperson who comes in at the wrong moment, raise your hand in a clenched fist and wave it threateningly. The guy should then lift his right arm and indicate his wife in the direction she has to walk in order to prevent the steer from fleeing. When the wife gets in the way of the television, this is the same signal. The wife will almost certainly respond with some kind of signal, but it should be disregarded.
